Decommendation from a Coven!
Last week was a week from HELL! I was kicked out of the 1st and only Coven to date that I was ever a member of and banned from a public Pagan discussion group. Let me give a background summary of what led up to this callous and low blow to my Spirituality. Going back to last September, we had a new member start showing up at our Rituals. This person seemed like a really nice person and meshed well with others. Everything was going fine till TLC aired the episode titled, “The Witches Next Door”. I started a discussion on the Pagan Group that I belonged to at the time about what people thought of the episode. I liked the idea that the woman who the episode revolved around positively portrayed her title as a High Priestess (HPS) and her affiliation with her Wiccan Church and leader of the Congregation by wearing all black with a white collar, a symbol of clergy. The woman was an ordained interfaith minister and chose to show everyone that although she is a HPS, she is also clergy. The consensus of my ex-group was that she was showy and flaunting herself. I spoke my peace, but the person that was a new addition to our Coven, started showing her true colors. She is very opinionated and does not want to hear anyone’s opinion not the same as hers. I enjoy friendly debates, she takes it all serious and starts to get pissy. I called her and laughed the whole thing off telling her that I love debates and don’t take anything serious or personal, but as I could now see, she does take things personal, so begins my decline.
This debate settled down and I thought everything was fine until about 3 weeks later when a new discussion started, “What path do you follow”. I started this discussion as I have started many discussions because with the exception of a few people, nobody was ever motivated to take any initiative as I have and later due to this I was labeled basically as a Power Monger because I want to take control of the group. I feel that there was jealousy here at all levels because I had within almost a year & a half I showed a lot of drive and dedication and was constantly coming up with ideas and publicly stated that I wanted to become a High Priest (HP) and form my own Coven in a few years after my training was done. (Sorry for getting side tracked, now back to the chain of events.) There are many Pagan paths, with the most popular ones being Traditional Wiccans who follow a set organized system and Eclectic Pagans who pick bits and pieces from different traditions and form their own based on what is suitable for them. These definitions are short and basic, to include the entire definition, I would be writing for hours because opinions vary when it comes to this. Anyhow, there was a Traditionalist who joined the group who joined in the discussion and offered his opinion on the topic. Immediately a majority of the people in the web group jumped on this person because his opinion was different from theirs, with the above woman being the most vocal. The NE Pagans group is a discussion group for all Pagan paths, or I thought so. Most of the members are Eclectic and do not like a Traditionalist point of view and got down right nasty with this man, all except me because I agreed with him. Our discussion went back and forth between me and the woman in our Coven with her twisting the debate to accuse me of saying that titles & degrees were necessary to worship the divine. I said that in order to successfully lead a Coven and be a legitimate HP or HPS, one should have some sort of education in the subject matter, 1 or 2 books along with a pentacle on a chain from Hot Topic, and dressing in Goth styled black fro head to toe, does not make a person qualified to lead a Coven. This was totally off topic so I took it offsite to our Coven’s private site, then it got bitter. The woman got nasty and attached me personally by calling me a drug addicted whack job. Our HPS & sites moderator finally intervened with me getting the blunt of the reprimand & this woman who has the nerve to sign everything “Blessed Be”, got a slap on the wrist. This woman who swears she lives by the Wiccan Rede and harms none, publicly stated that as long as I am present at any Ritual or event, she will “block me out mentally”. This is not good for anyone in the group! If a person is using negative energy to block someone out, it will effect the entire group as they are trying to raise positive energy in the circle. I decided that I would step away from the group until she moves away to another state later the next month. I wrote a letter to our HPS stating this & she said don’t go, things will work out (in so many words), so I stayed, until things totally bottomed out 2 weeks later. I wound up being a better person & sent everyone in the Coven an apology for the shit that happened, with me taking the blame, this woman did not apologize publicly to me, only privately, thus making me look like the bad guy. The traditionalist by the way got booted & banned from the public group by the HPS. In my opinion, I feel that she felt him to be a threat & got rid of him because his knowledge rivaled hers, she did send us parts of the private discussion, but only the parts I feel benefited her cause with him telling her to go piss up a rope, not everything so all we got was 1 side of the story.
Last week, the group got in a stupid discussion about fluffy bunny Pagans with the HPS leading the way & laughing it up, a term which is basically negative if anything, with a lot of people generating what their Craft name would be “fluffy”. I did not know what a “fluffy Pagan” was so I researched it & posted 3 websites dealing with it along with a stupid, but funny adult themed YouTube video. I also started a discussion about Athames & Wands of which I stated in the beginning of the post, let’s get serious again or something to that extent. The next day, the HPS apologized for the fluffy discussion & the sites posted. I said no need to apologize, what was wrong. It turned out that the HPS got a slew a phone calls complaining about me & the sites I posted! I was accused of being negative & promoting harm to the younger Pagans by posting these sites, and guess who led the charge of the spineless back stabbers, the woman I had a problem with! I took it to our private site & voiced my opinion about people going behind my back & not confronting me directly and the first to reply was her. It went back and forth for a few email posts with the HPS once again stepping in a publicly flogging me with nothing other than a slap on the wrist to this pompous ass who I thought was my friend & Coven sister. I sent a private message to the HPS stating that I am going to step away & look for a Traditional Coven or group, being honest about everything, and I turn around only to see me being kicked out of the Coven & banned from both web groups. The HPS sent me a nasty letter, trashed me tactfully on her blog without mentioning my name (THANKS!), and blamed me for being a problem to the group. The Coven voted 8 to 1 to boot me with only 1 person standing by me.
I blame the whole structure of this Coven & the HPS for the breakdown. Nobody ever stated we should have a sit down to discuss things with the entire Coven. Only the HPS and my friend who stood by me as well as a couple of people not in the Coven ever talked to me about any of this. If a majority of the Coven wanted me out, don’t do it via email or phone calls, look me in the eye, or are you that much better than me. Everyone has faults & as Christ said in the NT, “For Ye who have not sinned, shall cast the first stone”. I saw a lot of faults in everyone, but because my opinion differed as of lately, I was seen as a threat and because I wanted to be a leader and showed initiative, I was Power Hungry, and because I don’t go with the flow and have my own opinion, I was labeled as a trouble maker, and justly booted out and my Spirituality sent adrift. In the email that the HPS sent me, she offered to help me start my own group just as long as it wasn’t hived off of hers, but who wants the help of someone that I can’t trust anymore? I spoke to her face to face & thanked her for everything, she said that in a short time I could come to Ritual with them once everything cooled down, I gracefully declined because as I told her, I can’t trust anyone anymore. As I left her house, I thought in my mind, so much for the saying “In perfect love & in perfect trust”, because this totally needs to be reworded for that Coven to say, “As long as you share our opinion & don’t voice your own, don’t take any initiative, go with the flow, and be a yes man, You can remain in the Coven in perfect love & in perfect trust, but if you show your own iron will, hit the road Jack and don’t you come around here no more, no more, no more!”
As a foot note, I did find a Traditionalist Coven & will be a perfect match with these people, because there, you can be yourself & taking initiative and drive goes a long way!
Blessings,
Treborus
This debate settled down and I thought everything was fine until about 3 weeks later when a new discussion started, “What path do you follow”. I started this discussion as I have started many discussions because with the exception of a few people, nobody was ever motivated to take any initiative as I have and later due to this I was labeled basically as a Power Monger because I want to take control of the group. I feel that there was jealousy here at all levels because I had within almost a year & a half I showed a lot of drive and dedication and was constantly coming up with ideas and publicly stated that I wanted to become a High Priest (HP) and form my own Coven in a few years after my training was done. (Sorry for getting side tracked, now back to the chain of events.) There are many Pagan paths, with the most popular ones being Traditional Wiccans who follow a set organized system and Eclectic Pagans who pick bits and pieces from different traditions and form their own based on what is suitable for them. These definitions are short and basic, to include the entire definition, I would be writing for hours because opinions vary when it comes to this. Anyhow, there was a Traditionalist who joined the group who joined in the discussion and offered his opinion on the topic. Immediately a majority of the people in the web group jumped on this person because his opinion was different from theirs, with the above woman being the most vocal. The NE Pagans group is a discussion group for all Pagan paths, or I thought so. Most of the members are Eclectic and do not like a Traditionalist point of view and got down right nasty with this man, all except me because I agreed with him. Our discussion went back and forth between me and the woman in our Coven with her twisting the debate to accuse me of saying that titles & degrees were necessary to worship the divine. I said that in order to successfully lead a Coven and be a legitimate HP or HPS, one should have some sort of education in the subject matter, 1 or 2 books along with a pentacle on a chain from Hot Topic, and dressing in Goth styled black fro head to toe, does not make a person qualified to lead a Coven. This was totally off topic so I took it offsite to our Coven’s private site, then it got bitter. The woman got nasty and attached me personally by calling me a drug addicted whack job. Our HPS & sites moderator finally intervened with me getting the blunt of the reprimand & this woman who has the nerve to sign everything “Blessed Be”, got a slap on the wrist. This woman who swears she lives by the Wiccan Rede and harms none, publicly stated that as long as I am present at any Ritual or event, she will “block me out mentally”. This is not good for anyone in the group! If a person is using negative energy to block someone out, it will effect the entire group as they are trying to raise positive energy in the circle. I decided that I would step away from the group until she moves away to another state later the next month. I wrote a letter to our HPS stating this & she said don’t go, things will work out (in so many words), so I stayed, until things totally bottomed out 2 weeks later. I wound up being a better person & sent everyone in the Coven an apology for the shit that happened, with me taking the blame, this woman did not apologize publicly to me, only privately, thus making me look like the bad guy. The traditionalist by the way got booted & banned from the public group by the HPS. In my opinion, I feel that she felt him to be a threat & got rid of him because his knowledge rivaled hers, she did send us parts of the private discussion, but only the parts I feel benefited her cause with him telling her to go piss up a rope, not everything so all we got was 1 side of the story.
Last week, the group got in a stupid discussion about fluffy bunny Pagans with the HPS leading the way & laughing it up, a term which is basically negative if anything, with a lot of people generating what their Craft name would be “fluffy”. I did not know what a “fluffy Pagan” was so I researched it & posted 3 websites dealing with it along with a stupid, but funny adult themed YouTube video. I also started a discussion about Athames & Wands of which I stated in the beginning of the post, let’s get serious again or something to that extent. The next day, the HPS apologized for the fluffy discussion & the sites posted. I said no need to apologize, what was wrong. It turned out that the HPS got a slew a phone calls complaining about me & the sites I posted! I was accused of being negative & promoting harm to the younger Pagans by posting these sites, and guess who led the charge of the spineless back stabbers, the woman I had a problem with! I took it to our private site & voiced my opinion about people going behind my back & not confronting me directly and the first to reply was her. It went back and forth for a few email posts with the HPS once again stepping in a publicly flogging me with nothing other than a slap on the wrist to this pompous ass who I thought was my friend & Coven sister. I sent a private message to the HPS stating that I am going to step away & look for a Traditional Coven or group, being honest about everything, and I turn around only to see me being kicked out of the Coven & banned from both web groups. The HPS sent me a nasty letter, trashed me tactfully on her blog without mentioning my name (THANKS!), and blamed me for being a problem to the group. The Coven voted 8 to 1 to boot me with only 1 person standing by me.
I blame the whole structure of this Coven & the HPS for the breakdown. Nobody ever stated we should have a sit down to discuss things with the entire Coven. Only the HPS and my friend who stood by me as well as a couple of people not in the Coven ever talked to me about any of this. If a majority of the Coven wanted me out, don’t do it via email or phone calls, look me in the eye, or are you that much better than me. Everyone has faults & as Christ said in the NT, “For Ye who have not sinned, shall cast the first stone”. I saw a lot of faults in everyone, but because my opinion differed as of lately, I was seen as a threat and because I wanted to be a leader and showed initiative, I was Power Hungry, and because I don’t go with the flow and have my own opinion, I was labeled as a trouble maker, and justly booted out and my Spirituality sent adrift. In the email that the HPS sent me, she offered to help me start my own group just as long as it wasn’t hived off of hers, but who wants the help of someone that I can’t trust anymore? I spoke to her face to face & thanked her for everything, she said that in a short time I could come to Ritual with them once everything cooled down, I gracefully declined because as I told her, I can’t trust anyone anymore. As I left her house, I thought in my mind, so much for the saying “In perfect love & in perfect trust”, because this totally needs to be reworded for that Coven to say, “As long as you share our opinion & don’t voice your own, don’t take any initiative, go with the flow, and be a yes man, You can remain in the Coven in perfect love & in perfect trust, but if you show your own iron will, hit the road Jack and don’t you come around here no more, no more, no more!”
As a foot note, I did find a Traditionalist Coven & will be a perfect match with these people, because there, you can be yourself & taking initiative and drive goes a long way!
Blessings,
Treborus
posted by Bob at 7:58 AM
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